The crisis of mature age has become famous in movies. Some happily married men who suddenly leave home because they are confused, and some women who can no longer bear the burden of the family and need to look for new directions. Although the crisis of mature age is real, what happens in daily life is not always as shown on the big screen. Stop making movies and find out what happens in this time of crisis.
A few years ago a film called “American Beauty” ( American Beauty in English) revived in the cinema what happens behind the doors of a typical American home in which the parents of a teenager are facing a tough crisis of middle age.
He, husband and self-sacrificing worker, decides to quit his job, rebel against his dominant wife, buy the sports car of his dreams and fantasize about being unfaithful. She, a strong and hard-working woman, feels that the life she knows is out of her control and that she needs to fall in love again with someone she admires, a colleague of his. What a crisis!
With films like that, many are rightly afraid of the famous crisis of middle age. Although this crisis does exist, it is not true that it always happens at age 40 exactly or that it brings such radical changes in our lives. And it is not a definitive diagnosis that a doctor or a psychologist can give you, because it is not a disease or a mental condition.
The crisis of mature age happens just like other personal crises that affect us emotionally when we go through moments of transition in life. Like 15 years in a teenager, leaving the parents’ house, getting married or fulfilling years entering a new decade. That is why it is believed that 40 years are the definitive age for the crisis of mature age, as they mark the beginning of a new decade of adult life that is associated with the abandonment of “youth”.
But in reality this crisis can happen at any time from 38 years to 50. It all depends on the person, how young or old you feel, and the life experiences you are going through.
We have also become accustomed to thinking that the crisis of mature age is typical of men, but it is a mistake to ignore that women also go through this time of crisis and for some it can be stronger and more decisive than for men.
Now yes … the question we all fear: can we overcome the crisis of mature age without affecting the life we have before reaching it, family, children, work? Most crises always affect our life as we know it until that moment, but there is no need to fear it, because it can be affected in a positive way. Everything depends on how each person faces his own crisis and the support he receives from his family and friends.
For example, experts say that the crisis of mature age in men is marked by a feeling that they are running out of time to do everything they once dreamed. Some feel they want to leave life as a family, but not all. For example, a positive change may be that the man in crisis rediscovers in his wife or sentimental partner, an ideal partner to build new projects more daring. Or it may be that the man wants to give up his work to launch himself to be independent and be his own boss.
In the case of women, the crisis comes when the children are already large and the household issues are well organized. Then they begin to evaluate themselves again as people, beyond being mothers and wives. Some feel that they have lost their identity because they dedicate themselves completely to the family and become depressed without knowing what they can be now. But others feel that it is the opportunity to return to the dreams of youth and do everything possible to achieve it: they return to the university, return to work or start personal projects either business, travel or passions.
The crisis of mature age is a stage of transition in life that you do not need to fear. But neither should we neglect it, because how we handle it depends on whether its results are positive or negative. For example, a crisis of mature age misunderstood or that is not well received by the family, can result in strong depressions or many personal breakdowns. On the other hand, a crisis that is supported and cultivated can result in great personal learning and even in the beginning of a new stage of a satisfactory and fruitful life.
If you or your partner is going through this moment, do not hesitate to talk about it and ask for support from a psychologist or a family therapist. And if you think there is a possibility that the crisis is reaching depression, seek medical help to prevent this state of mind from moving forward.
An old crisis can be seen as a storm and not as a movie … the great winds come to wipe out everything weak, only the strong remain standing and then calm comes. Although if you prefer to think it’s like in the movies, then do your best to find a happy ending.